Undisclosed Desires
by piercesbitch
Summary: She didn't want to, but she had to. She had to get away. -Set after the end of the season 7 premiere when Thirteen leaves.


02:27

She hated it. She hated leaving without saying goodbye, but she had to. It was the easiest way out. Goodbyes were too hard, too personal. She wanted a clean break. She did not know where she was going or when she was going to come back, she didn't even know if she was going to come back. She just knew that getting away is what was best. Remy bit her lip and held back tears for what had to be the hundredth time since yesterday. She was sitting in the front seat of her car, trying to figure out what to do. She had pulled to the side of the road after driving down the turnpike for about an hour, she had nearly broke down. The same thoughts were orbiting her brain, yet she was not numb to the pain they caused. Leaving had hurt her, she loved her life. She loved…someone. She didn't like to admit it, but it was true. She loved him. Remy Hadley loved Robert Chase. She had deluded herself into thinking that she just had a meager sexual attraction toward him, but part of her brain still knew that she felt more than that; love.

The thought that had been running through her head since earlier popped into her head again. _I don't want to leave him….I'll miss him._ She shook her head, trying to dismiss the thought. _You won't miss him, you'll be fine…_ She attempted to lie to herself, but it didn't work. She sighed. _No, Remy, you _will _miss him._ That small part of her brain _had _to chime in. "I…I need to say goodbye….properly," she spoke to no one but herself. She started her car and made a U-turn to go back the way she came. Back to Princeton.

The whole way back she was having an internal fight with herself. Part of her just wanted to leave, the other part wanted her to speak to Chase for one last time. She knew that seeing him again will only make herself more attached and leaving again would just hurt even more, yet she was willing to suffer just for a momentary relief. She almost turned her car back around a few times on her way to Chase's apartment, but she finally pulled up in front of the apartment building. It was late, around ten o'clock, so she debated if she should disturb him or not. After sitting in her car for a few minutes, she worked up the courage to get out. She walked into the building and up to his apartment and bit on her lip, hesitating before knocking on the door. When she finally did knock, it was soft, she was hoping not to wake him if he were sleeping. She waited about a minute and the door opened to reveal a sleeping looking Chase.

"T-Thirteen?" Chase said, eyes widening in surprise. Remy nodded slightly.

"Hi," she murmured softly, wrapping her arms around herself.

"W-whuh…. Why are you here?" he asked her, plenty confused by her presence. "I thought you left…."

"Can I come in?" she asked softly, purposefully ignoring his questions. He nodded and stepped aside; opened the door wider to let her through. She hurried into his apartment and stood awkwardly in his furor.

"Um… you didn't really leave?" Remy shrugged her shoulders and rubbed her hands down her arms.

"I…There's something…something I wanted to tell you…" she looked down as she spoke those last few words, suddenly very nervous. Chase arched a brow and watched her.

"That is…?"

"Um," she cleared her throat and racked her brain for the right words. Chase shifted the weight on his feet, waiting patiently for her to speak. "I…I didn't want to leave without telling you goodbye…"

"Oh…" Chase answered, not really knowing what else he could say. After a few moments of silence Remy stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Chase's neck, hugging him tightly. A bit baffled, he puts his arms around her to hug her back. He was surprised, it was unusual for Remy to show this sort of affection, especially twice in the same day. Remy found herself biting back tears again. It felt nice in his arms like that, she didn't want to let go. She started to get overwhelmed with thoughts of having to leave him behind and this time the tears broke through the barriers she had forced them behind. A few tears streamed down her cheeks and she squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to pull away from him, which only brought more tears and more pain. She tried to furiously wipe the tears away before Chase could see them, but he noticed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He furrowed his brow and brushed a few of the tears away from under her eye. All he go in response was the shake of Remy's head; he sighed and pulled her into a hug again. She tucked her face against his shoulder and let him hold her, feeling comforted in his arms.

"I can't….I don't…" she choked on a sob before she could get the rest of her sentence out.

"Shhh," Chase said, soothingly rubbing his hand down the back of her hair. She buried her face against his shirt to muffle the sobs that were now breaking through. He pulled back slightly and put an arm around her and directed her into his living room and onto his couch, where she collapsed into his arms. Chase awkwardly held her, not sure about what else he could do. They stayed like that for awhile, he helped her calm down. After she had stopped her tears, she pulled away from him to sit up straight.

"I don't want to leave you," she whispered shakily, not meeting his eyes. He nodded slowly, again not knowing what to do or say. She sighed slightly and scooted so that she was sitting directly next to him, their sides touching. He put his arm around her and she rested her head against her shoulder. Chase, not really understanding that Remy said, tried to think of something to do. He eventually had an idea.

"Hey, Thirteen…" he cleared his throat. She looked up at him.

"Hm?" Their eyes met. Hers were red from crying, his were soft and filled with warmth. He slowly leaned in close to her, Remy wasn't completely sure of what he was doing, but she didn't move. He hesitated, but slowly he brushed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes and braced herself for what came next. Chase kissed her softly, sweetly, gently. Remy let out a long sigh and kissed him back, she leaned into his hand when he cupped her cheek. Her lips tasted salty from the tears her eyes spilled earlier, but he didn't mind. Remy felt more tears welling up in her eyes as they kissed, she blinked them away, but a few rolled down her cheeks and mixed in with their kiss. Chase pulled back, too soon for both of their liking and looked at her again. He saw her tears and he brushed them away with his thumb, still cupping her face. She closed her eyes and rest her forehead on his shoulder, lightly draping her arm on him. He leaned against the armrest of the sofa, pulling her so that she was resting against him. Remy, emotionally and physically exhausted, quickly started to drift to sleep. Chase let her fall asleep while he stroked her hair and held her close. Eventually, they both were fast sleep in each other's arms.


End file.
